Behind Blue Eyes
by S.marie.moon
Summary: John was the golden boy. Roxy was not. John was wanted by many. Roxy by none. John fell in love Roxy did too.
1. Chapter 1

**Just a little teaser preview, shall I continue? I've gotta say, I have a good feeling about this one :)**

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_"You can't keep pushing me away."_

He grabbed at my wrist pulling me in. I knew there was no use in fighting he was stronger then me…physically and emotionally.

_"Look, I'm not okay? I just… I can't date you."_

_"You can't date me? What kind of excuse do you have this time Roxy?" _

_"It's not an excuse, you know that."_

_ "Oh really? Then how come every time a guy starts to get close enough to actually want to be with you, you find a reason not to date him? So really..what is your excuse for me?"_

_ "You don't understand."_

_ "I don't, and I won't if you don't tell me what's going on."_

I rolled my eyes and walked away. How could I explain something I didn't even understand. John was a good guy …but maybe I wasn't such a good girl.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks all, you are why I write :)**

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I made my way to the mini work out facility set up backstage. It was what I did when I got stressed, and this relationship with John was pushing me to my limits. It's that old saying again, the one that goes 'It's not you, it's me.' yeah just like that. But how do I tell him that without sounding completely cliché?

_"Hey Roxy."_

I jumped a little, too preoccupied in my thoughts to notice what was going on around me.

_"Hey Kelly, what's going on?"_

_"You doing okay? I know it's none of my business but I walked past John and he seemed a little more ticked off then usual…."_

I sighed. Everyone already thought we were dating, why was it such a big deal if we didn't? Love doesn't need a label. Eventually I smiled at her.

_"Really were fine, typical fights you know?"_

_"I understand that, stick it out though, he really likes you. I can tell."_

_"Thanks."_

_"No problem. I'm here if you need me girl."_

I waved her off and hopped unto the treadmill. The machine started up and I pressed it to go faster and faster until I knew I couldn't go anymore without my legs slipping out from under me. I don't know what I was running from, my thoughts, myself, who knows? My whole life I'd been running, who was I to think that this time would be any different?

After a good 30 minutes I wiped off the sweat with my towel and went to the locker to grab my duffel bag. Inside I reached for my phone and noticed a text from John. I really did not want to do this now but I flipped it open anyways just to satisfy my curiosity.

_"Tell me what I have to do, you know I'll do it for you. I'd do anything to win your heart, why won't you let me try?"_

I closed my phone and started to cry. Didn't he understand this was for the best? I don't want to hurt him but it will be worse in the long run. I'm not the girl you want to date somehow he's going to have to learn this.

My phone buzzed and I looked down 'private caller'. I sniffled and cleared my throat making sure whoever it was wouldn't think I was crying.

_"Roxanne?"_

_"Mr. Flayer?"_

_"Throw your phone away after this message, Meet me at Earms St. in an hour. Don't be late."_

My lives were throwing me in two different directions but I knew which one I would have to choose.


	3. Chapter 3

My headlights beamed unto the side of the alley way, casting shadows on the already creepy scene before me. There lied a blue tarp covering a lump..and I was hoping to God that it wasn't a body. Mr. Flayer stood over it.

_"Roxy."_

_"Mr. Flayer."_

_"You know what to do."_

_"Yes sir."_

One thing I learned at a very young age was not to tell him no. No matter what the task at hand was you didn't say no. I was only 11 when I received my first 'lesson' of this. Still supporting the scars to remind me. I waited until he walked away and prepared myself for the worst.

Under the tarp was a cocker spaniel covered in maggots. I gagged. It's face was mulled and I really didn't want to know what kind of trouble led to this. It was bad, awful, but not a human like I was expecting which I was more than glad for.

I slung the bag into my trunk and drove away into the night trying to get the horrible image and smell out of my mind. My phone rang and it was John again. I clean up other peoples messes not my own, and let it go to voicemail.

As I turned the corner towards the cliff run I began thinking of what it took to get me to this place..how one event could have changed everything and maybe I could be with John but now I was too far gone. I popped the trunk and carried the remains of the dog to the ledge and threw it down. Then waited to hear the awful thud that always followed.


End file.
